I’ve been a Christian for many years, but it caught me by surprise a few years ago when I realized I never truly understood how much God loved me. At the time, I was going through some of the hardest months of my life.
It seems God uses the “deserts” of our lives to give us revelations of His providence, goodness and His love. Next time I enter another desert, I will go with confidence. I am loved no matter the outcome of my situations, and I know He is always with me. He guards my path and makes my steps secure.
Today in worship, I saw a beautiful vision of the expression of God’s love for me. Below is a description about what I saw. If you are going through a wilderness in your life or, if you have never known whether or not God loves you, I pray this blog post will speak to your heart.
You crushed me under the weight of your love, Lord. I felt your powerful presence as I entered your throne room. The angels and the elders surrounded us. I heard them singing; but somehow in that moment, it was intimate like it was just us in the room. I saw you, Father, on your throne. Jesus was at your side. The Holy Spirit’s bright glory burned like a furnace, igniting the room with splendid light, almost too bright to bear with my eyes. Although, I could not see you directly, my heart immediately knew it was you.
I saw myself in rags kneeling before you. The act of bowing didn’t seem like enough, but I didn’t know what else to do. Perhaps, I should kneel lower, I wondered? But when I looked down, I realized my rags were gone, and you had adorned me in a beautiful flowing dress of deep purple. The dress fanned over a cushioned stool of red velvet. The legs were twisted spindles resembling a ram’s horns. You fitted me with shoes of fine, glittering diamonds. I felt like a beautiful bride on her wedding day or – I suddenly realized – a princess – the daughter of a King.
This image of royalty overwhelmed me, but you weren’t done lavishing your love upon me. When I reached upon my head, I felt you place a golden crown, encrusted with precious gems there. I knew I was unworthy to wear it. My cheeks reddened as I quickly removed it. But, Jesus, when I attempted to hand it back to you, the rightful owner, you pointed to other crowns at your feet and the one upon your head.
Abba, your words sounded like trumpets and whispers all at once that permeated and electrified my soul: “favored”, “daughter”, “beautiful” and “loved.” I had so many words I wanted to say back, but I couldn’t find my voice. None of my words felt to be enough. All I could do was fall on my face and worship you. It was in that moment, I felt you and Jesus hugging me. I wept happily and worshipped you again because you are worthy of much more honor than I could give.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for your revelation of love. Thank you for sending Jesus to die for me. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me and rising from the grave in triumphant victory so that I might live abundantly. Thank you, God, that you don’t simply tolerate humanity. You love us. You made us coheirs with your Son. Thank you for your extravagant love.